I never expected that in my most joyful moment I would experience such pain. A pain I have never felt before. It was someone else’s pain, a stranger, who I so rapidly felt love toward. In this moment my joy was overwhelming, it gleamed from my soul. After a season of experiencing the dryness of the wilderness I could see the black cloud in the distance, rain was approaching. God’s showering of blessings in my life was nearing.
In knowing something so wonderful, so life changing was about to take place, how could I feel such grief? Empathy, compassion, love, and mercy, were all things I prayed for in this moment and so desperately needed. God placed me in this humbling and sober place. I knew he would get me through. It was Friday, July 12th, 2013, five days before my husband and I would be bringing home our brand new baby boy, a newborn not born to us, but given.
The day we had been waiting for, the day we dreamed of, was quickly approaching. The day we had so earnestly prayed for. On that Friday afternoon, we were faced with the grief of two parents who had grown to know this little boy for nine months, feeling him move and grow in his mother’s belly. The day came when this couple knew their time with their little boy was up. They could not care for this child once he was born. These nine months were all they would ever have with him. The mother, making the hardest decision of a lifetime, followed her heart, and relinquished this sweet precious baby, never once seeing his face.
Our conversation with this couple was an hour of listening to their heart crying out, hearing their wishes for this child, and telling us that they believe we are the couple to carryout and finish what was started. That day, in that room, God’s presence was thick. My husband Jeff and I prayed that God give us his wisdom, his words, and his love as we heard from this hurting couple. He met all of these.
On Friday, July 12th a couple so courageously gifted my husband and I one of the best gifts we have ever received. On that day, a child to us was born, and on that day, a child for them was lost. We grieved with these strangers over their loss, and hugged them with joy for their gift.
After hours of classes, interviews, and conversations preparing us for this moment in adoption, no one could ever prepare us for this authentic meeting in God’s grace, love, and mercy. It is that day, in that moment, I rejoice. I reflect on that day, a short four months ago. We were brought together, forever through our child, with this broken and hurting couple, a relationship that will forever be a journey. This baby, this gift, has changed our lives, our home, our relationship. God is faithful and truly is completing in us, what he has started. And for this I am thankful …